They prepared for weeks
Cheese shields cut from a single wheel. Helmets stamped out of bottle caps. A battle plan chalked across the whole basement floor, to scale, with arrows.
ONE CAT · TOO MANY RATS · SOLANA
They brought an army. He brought nine lives.
The rats spent weeks preparing. Cheese shields, bottle-cap helmets and a battle plan covering the entire basement floor. Then one small cat walked in, looked at all of it, and asked if this was everyone.
Rats committed to this
0
Nobody has told him.
Then he walked in
He looked at the front line, the reserves, the flag bearer and the siege engine built out of a mousetrap, and asked whether this was everyone.
They charged together
Every rat, at once, from all four walls. He has decided this is the greatest game of chase ever invented, and that he is comfortably winning it.
And now nobody can stop
Somebody should explain the situation to him. Nobody is going to. The rats are, at this point, far too embarrassed to retreat.
ROUND 1no exits
BASEMENT · LEVEL 3 · ONE VERY RELAXED CAT
The rat army, in full.
Six divisions. Weeks of planning. Open a line for the intelligence report on each one.
01Cheese Shield Divisionsoft
Wheel-cut, hand-carried, structurally cheese. Stops nothing at all. Smells incredible. He has already eaten a corner off one of them and the rat holding it has not been told.
02Bottle-Cap Helmetsloud
Standard issue. Fits nobody. Rings like a bell whenever anything touches it, which in a charge of this density is permanently.
03Tactical Commandshouting
Four rats, one blueprint, no agreement on which way is north. The blueprint has been upside down since Tuesday and morale is the only thing anyone has audited.
04The Flag Beareroptimistic
Turned up on day one with a white flag. Insists it is ceremonial. Has never specified whose ceremony, and nobody has felt strong enough to ask.
05Siege Engineeringpending
Built a catapult out of a mousetrap and a soup spoon. It has fired exactly once, backwards, into the reserves. The reserves have requested a review.
06Moralecritical
High on Monday. Then the cat rolled onto his back, purred at the entire front line, and something in the ranks broke that has not been repaired since.
Bring more rats.
The only thing we will ever ship. Tap the floor to drop rats in, or send a whole wave at once. He handles it. He has always handled it. Sound on for this — every squeak is generated live in your browser.
SECTOR 9 · BEHIND THE BOILER
LIVE
- Rats deployed0
- In the room0
- Sent flying0
- Lives used0 / 9
Cat danger level
0%
01
He is not fighting. He is playing. Those are different words.
- 0 / 0Tax, both ways
- BurntLiquidity, permanently
- RevokedMint authority
- 9 / 9Lives remaining
The one line he can't swat.
Straight from DexScreener. Unedited, unchoreographed, moving entirely on its own.
Waiting on the pool
The chart drops in here the moment DexScreener indexes the pair. Give it a minute after launch.
Follow on XFour steps. Mind the rats.
-
01
Get a wallet
Install Phantom on your browser or phone. Write the seed phrase on real paper and keep it out of the basement.
-
02
Fund it with SOL
Buy SOL anywhere and send it over. Leave a little spare so the network fees get fed too.
-
03
Swap for $CLAWMBAT
Open pump.fun, paste the contract address from this page — only this page — and swap.
-
04
Bring more rats
Tell everyone. The joke improves with numbers, and numbers are the one thing the opposition has plenty of.
/ the paperwork
The contract holds the line.
Standard pump.fun fair launch. Liquidity burned, mint authority revoked, no team bag, no tax on either side of the trade. It is the only part of this basement that was planned properly, and that is on purpose.
- Network
- Solana
- Ticker
- $CLAWMBAT
- Supply
- 1,000,000,000
- Tax
- 0% / 0%
- Liquidity
- Burned
- Mint authority
- Revoked
- Combatants
- 1 v. a great many
- Lives used
- 0 of 9
- Sense of danger
- None detected
It ends when
he gets bored.
Nobody has explained that this is a war. The rats are too embarrassed to bring it up. So it continues, and the numbers keep climbing on exactly one side of the room.